


dominate person

by daniadaniadania



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Kidnapping, M/M, Mild Gore, Mind Control, Violence, briefly mentioned self harm, self blame, self sacrifical bullshit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-18
Updated: 2018-02-23
Packaged: 2019-03-20 16:32:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,577
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13721658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daniadaniadania/pseuds/daniadaniadania
Summary: aka kravitz is kidnapped, mind controlled, and taako has to hurt him to trigger a saving throw





	1. Chapter 1

Taako was not worried when he got out of bed that morning. He was not stressed while he was making breakfast. He was not anxious as he swapped work stories with Kravitz over coffee. He was not even worried when the Raven Queen called and he kissed his husband goodbye.

Taako was not yet worried when he tidied up the kitchen. He was not yet stressed as he got dressed and perfected his makeup. He was not anxious when his Stone of Farspeech lit up in Lup's color. He was not even worried when he answered with a unaffected "Sup, sis?"

Taako was not worried that morning until the moment he heard Lup's tone of voice. The careful volume and gentle level scared him more than it should have. This was the tone she used when she had to deliver bad news and Taako's chest instantly constricted. He felt his ribs fall inwards, crushing his lungs. He mumbled Detect Magic on an impulse, assuming that he was somehow being attacked because no emotion was supposed to feel like this.

"Taako?" His sister's voice came faintly from the stone clutched in his hand. Taako wasn't sure when he sunk to the ground but he found himself there now, so tense that he couldn't get his fist to open.

"What can I do?" Taako knew that Kravitz didn't want Taako anywhere near his work. He was never invited out on a work call no matter how fashionably the necromancers were described. Taako begged Lup to take him with her when she got the reaper gig but even she declined saying that it wasn't a job for the living. Even Barry, practically a necromancer apologist, did everything he could to keep Taako away from the Raven Queen's calls to action. Taako had accepted it as "just one of those things" and was content to get funny anecdotes and vague descriptions once the reapers returned home. But he couldn't keep his distance anymore. "Lup! What can I do? You called me for a reason, right?"

\---

Lup and Barry had summoned a rift for Taako and he was with them now in a forest he didn't recognized, hidden in a heavily wooded area. Lup continued the details. "You know how bad Dominate Person can be, T. We can't just go for the caster because he's ordered Kravitz to defend her with his life and I don't think any one of us could beat him in a fair fight. The only other way to interrupt the spell is to cause physical harm to Kravitz to trigger another chance at a saving throw,"

"Don't you dare." Taako spoke over his sister's last sentence but she knew already knew that he would.

"...which is why you're here. I wasn't going to do that without your permission, Taako."

"My permission? I'm not giving anyone permission to beat up my husband!" Taako was speaking loudly in some attempt at seeming in command but Lup recognized his tells: wringing his hands, ears pinned back. He was feeling defensive and she knew she had to bring up her proposal gently.

"I know, bro. I know you would never watch anyone else hurt Kravitz. Like I said, that's why you're here."

Taako looked up from his palms. He paused. "No. No fucking way! You can't be serious! You want me to be the one beating him up? Are you out of your fucking mind?"

"Taako, listen to me! You're the one we trust for this job! And I think you're the one Kravitz would want to do it. He's... not in good shape. The elf who's dominating him…” she sighed, “You won't want to hear this. The first command she gave was for him to hurt himself. We were still trying to go for her and I think she knew that if she put Kravitz in danger, we would back off. And I guess it fucking worked. So, he's in bad shape and this is going to have to be a very precise attempt to snap him out of it."

Taako was jumping between feeling completely numb and vibrating with fury. He knew he should keep a clear mind in order to scope out his approach tactically; but the idea of somehow holding Kravitz's life in his hands was too much for Taako to handle. He decided to embrace the numbness, knowing that the only way he could do this is if he shut out his emotions.

\---

The three had moved closer to the clearing but were just out of sight. Barry began to detail the plan. "She has a small clearing set up for the ritual she was attempting when we interrupted. The spell components should be scattered enough from our first attack that we don't have to worry about the ritual itself but it means she's probably just been waiting for us to re-approach. We won’t be able to get Kravitz out of the area without her seeing so Lup and I will try to pull her fire as much as possible so you can get close to him. She's smart enough that she won't cast anything that would interrupt her concentration so we don't have to worry too much about her unless she changes the command she has on Kravitz. She didn't cast the spell audibly but through my observation, I believe he has something like "protect me," and "do not leave this clearing." And, of course, she commanded him to... hurt himself earlier but I don't believe that command is currently active. Do you want me to tell you what to expect of his physical condition before you see him?"

Taako hesitated. Would it be better to be prepared? Or would hearing what was done to Kravitz only destabilize his emotions even further? "Save it." Taako already felt his unaffected facade slipping and didn't intend to let this necromancer know how emotional this situation really was for him.

"Taako? Babe, you okay with this?" Lup held his hand from where they were crouching a dozen feet deep from the treeline.

"Of course not. But I'm ready. Let's go."

Lup nodded to Barry and he rose to his feet and put his hands in front of him, palms up. Lup took that same posture and followed close behind. Taako quickly moved around the perimeter of the circle so that he would emerge into the clearing a significant distance away from the others. They weren’t sure Taako could hide entirely from the necromancer but if they spread out, at least they couldn’t all be targeted at once. 

Barry called out as he stepped into the open grass “Daphne? We’re not coming to fight you. We want to talk about clearing your bounty with our Queen.” Daphne stepped out from under a makeshift tent with her wand in hand. She took a step towards Barry suspiciously but, with confidence that she still held the upper hand, responded to him.

“I hope you’re not looking for a deal.” Her voice spilled out with a thick accent Taako didn’t recognize. He didn’t have time to analyze her. His job was to locate Kravitz and get as close to him as possible while Barry and Lup tried to buy time with some made-up bounty clearing nonsense. “Because I am not interested in giving anything to you.”

“I understand completely” Barry said evenly. “Why would you offer to give anything up to us? We’re just three simple reapers who couldn’t outsmart you. I respect that, Daphne. It’s why I want to offer you-”

Taako couldn’t hear him anymore. His ears were filled with the sound of his own blood pumping. He heard himself gasp and hoped it wasn’t loud enough to catch Daphne’s attention. Ten feet in front of him, leaning against a tentpole, half-shadowed, stood Kravitz. His posture was so unfamiliar Taako wouldn’t have identified him in any other situation. His shoulders were hunched forward as if to protect himself but his head was raised, eyes straight forward and glaring. Taako had never seen this look in his husband’s eyes before. It was far more frightening than Kravtiz’s reaper form had ever been which caused Taako to wonder why he was still in his human body. Was Dominate Person locking him into this form for some reason?

Along with the unfamiliar posture, Kravitz stood in torn clothes completely unlike his usual put-together style. The shirt wasn’t even a color that Taako recognized as Kravtiz’s own.

Taako gasped again and almost choked in realization. He didn’t recognize the color of this shirt. Because it was completely saturated in Kravitz’s blood.

The realization focused Taako on the job at hand. He scanned Kravitz head to toe for any other injuries. His hair was messy and out of place but there were no cuts or bruises on his face. His chest was absolutely mangled under the torn shirt. Taako gagged when he couldn’t identify a loose strip as fabric or flesh. It was clear that the command to injure himself was focused on his chest. Moving down, Taako realized that Kravitz was leaning on the tent not for aesthetic but for support. His left knee was pointing completely inward and the calf and foot hung loosely underneath. It was clearly dislocated at the joint and, god, that white protrustion by his ankle? Taako was pretty sure that was bone.

Taako’s emotions were rising up his throat and he knew he couldn’t think about it any longer. He had to go numb, had to go stone cold, and had to save his husband’s life. Somewhere across the field he heard Daphne’s voice.

“I intend on keeping your little friend here until I can complete my ritual. If you two cease your interruptions, maybe I’ll release him while he’s still alive!”

Her Deception was high but not high enough for Taako. He knew Daphne did not intend on letting Kravitz go alive. His resolve steeled knowing that he was Kravitz’s only hope and he finally stepped out of the trees and moved towards his husband.

“Unknown intruder!”

Barry had warned Taako that he might be under command to alert Daphne if anyone approach him so Taako was ready for the outburst. He was not ready to be passed off as some unknown assailant by the man he chose to spend his life with.

“Krav, honey, it’s me. It’s your Taako.” Behind Taako, he heard the sounds of a battle beginning. He had to trust Lup and Barry completely so that he could keep his focus on Kravitz. “Do you remember who I am?”

“You are a danger to Daphne.”

“Damn right I am, but that’s not quite what I meant.” It was impossible to find humor in this situation but Taako tried to keep his tone light for the sake of familiarity. “Can I get closer to you?”

“I must defend Daphne.” Kravtiz said, raising his scythe at Taako in a way he hoped he would never have to see again. His eyes were so much colder than usual; Taako didn’t think he could hold eye contact for much longer.

“I know, honey, it’s okay. I’m going to do something a little crazy, Krav. Do you still trust me?” Taako walked closer, causing Kravitz to brace himself for combat. Taako hated the way that Kravitz’s knee collapsed inwards when he tried to put weight on it.

“I don’t know you.”

Taako tried not to let that sentence sting. He couldn’t doubt himself right now even if the man he loved was reenacting a waking nightmare. “It’s okay.” He wasn’t sure if he said that for Kravitz or for himself. He moved his arm slowly down and began to unsheath a short sword.

Having a sword in his hands was unfamiliar but this whole situation had been unfamiliar so why not? It had been Taako’s own decision to use the sword despite Lup arguing for a handful of Magic Missles. Sure, using magic would have been more comfortable for Taako but why should he get to be comfortable in this situation? If Taako was going to hurt Kravitz, he was going to make damn sure it hurt himself as well. It was the dramatic self-sacrificial kind of move that he knew Kravitz would lecture him for in any other fight.

The battle continued in Taako’s peripheries but he held his focus on the man in front of him. Barry told Taako he wasn’t sure if Kravitz had any self-defense commands in place but as Taako pulled his sword out, he got confirmation in the form of Kravitz taking hold of his scythe.

“Fuck, this is going to be hard.” Taako muttered while dodging the attack. Taako had a sick feeling of gratitude that Kravitz was injured because he knew he could never land a strike otherwise. All he had to do was land a single point of damage. He didn’t have to be punishing or effective, just precise.

Kravitz raised his scythe again and Taako saw an opening. Kravitz’s center of balance moved backwards and Taako knew he had time for a quick slash before the scythe came swinging down. It was a perfect opening and he knew it.

“Fuck!” Taako hesitated for half a second too long and lost his shot. He knew he was physically able to take that shot but he overcoming the emotional reality was harder than he thought. “Krav, please, honey. I don’t want to hurt you. Please, please, just… wake up!” Taako knew that wasn’t how Dominate Person worked but everything was up in the air now that he had to face his husband one on one. His emotions were high and he felt tears streaming down his face. The tears blurred his vision and he silently reprimanded himself for letting himself be emotional.

“Krav, honey, I’m going to hurt you and I’m so sorry.” Maybe if he warned the reaper, he would feel better about it? Yeah, that seemed to help. “I’m going to hurt you, just to trigger another saving throw and I’m so sorry. I’m sorry.” Taako narrowly dodged another swing of Kravitz’s weapon and steeled himself for the opportunity to strike. Seeing Kravitz stumble over his hurt leg, Taako took a quick step forward and stabbed his short sword into his husband’s stomach. “I’m so sorry!” He shouted while pulling his blade free. It was a shallow cut but his armor was no longer covering his stomach so it was just enough force to draw blood.

“Oh, thank god, it’s over, it’s going to be okay!” Taako exclaimed at Kravitz who had cowered inwards to protect his midsection from the strike. His head was down and his hair covered his eyes. Taako flew towards him to take him in his arms, finally free of the charm.

As he did, Kravitz swiftly stood up and Taako saw only black in his eyes. Before he could recognize that the saving throw had failed, the back end of Kravitz’s scythe hit him square in his chest and he was flying backwards.

“Oh fuck.”

Before they entered the clearing, Lup and Taako decided on a code word Taako could use if he needed help. Otherwise, Lup and Barry weren’t to bring any attention to him in fear that Daphne would order Kravitz to do something impulsively. Taako, with his back in the grass and the knowledge that a reaper was stalking towards him with the intent to kill, wanted to scream that safe word. He wanted his sister to swoop in and save the day. He wanted to be anywhere but here.

But he couldn’t do that. He knew the safest thing he could do was keep this battle between Kravitz and himself. And so he shifted his weight to his elbows and braced himself for the next hit.

Kravitz stepped into Taako’s vision and raised his scythe again. Taako couldn’t stand the sight of his husband trying to kill him but he knew he had to power through so he shut his eyes and rolled out of the way of the attack.

In true flipwizard fashion, Taako was quickly back on his feet. Unfortunately, with his eyes closed, he hadn’t seen Kravitz angle his blow at the last second, just catching Taako’s arm. If Taako hadn’t jumped to his feet so quickly, the cut would’ve been deep. Instead, it was long, covering his arm almost completely from wrist to shoulder.

“Fuck, Krav!” Taako winced. He was losing a lot of blood with a vertical cut like that across multiple arteries and he knew this fight couldn’t last much longer. He reconsidered using his code word and getting Lup’s help but knew he had to do this himself. “That fucking hurts, babe.” Taako was stumbling backwards to try to create some space between him and Kravitz. “Makes me feel a tiny bit better about the papercut I gave you.” There was no humour in Taako’s voice.

Kravitz didn’t respond, just as Taako expected, he just moved forward and raised his weapon again. Taako knew his agility would be down now that his arm was out of order and thanked the Gods that it hadn’t been his sword arm. Taako didn’t even blink this time as the scythe came down and he jumped out of the way. He didn’t even give Kravitz a warning as he went in again with a light slash on the thigh.

The cut didn’t even breach the fabric of his pants which meant Kravitz didn’t take any damage and didn’t get another saving throw. “Gods fucking dammit! Can’t you make this easy for me? Can’t one thing go right today?” Kravitz gave no response, just his black glare and transferred his scythe for one-handed attacks.

Taako couldn’t afford to be reckless, he couldn’t strike too hard in fear that Kravitz would have nothing left holding him together but he couldn’t keep up these little hits for long. He decided the safest bet would be a strong hit in a non-lethal location. Unfortunately for him, that would mean getting very close to Kravitz.

With a deep breath, Taako whispered “I’m sorry” and charged his husband. He knew he wanted to get close enough to guarantee his aim so he leaped forward, moving as if to hug Kravitz. Instead, he rushed to press the tip of his short sword into Kravitz’s free palm hard enough to draw blood. The reaper’s momentum was unstoppable and Kravitz’s scythe completed its swing and embedded its blade into Taako’s back. Taako had just enough time to watch Kravitz’s eyes turn back to gold before his vision began to fade.

“Like I said, I’m sorry.” Taako coughed blood onto Kravitz with those last words and collapsed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warnings: mild gore, two idiots who both blame themselves and have distorted senses of their self-worth

The moment exploded.

 

Kravitz’s eyes cleared at the same second that he gained control of his voice. He heard a scream but wasn’t sure where it came from. Taako crumpled in front of him and Kravitz couldn’t even catch him. The only thing keeping Taako from laying completely prone was the scythe embedded in his back. The scythe! Kravitz yanked it free, wondering at the last moment if he should have left the blade inside to limit blood flow. His brain wasn’t working fast enough for this situation.

 

Knowing he had to focus if he had a chance to save Taako’s life, Kravitz’s vision narrowed and he drowned out the sounds around him.

 

One thing at a time, he told himself, and ripped his cloak off his back. He attempted to kneel next to Taako and press the cloak against the gash but his injured knee buckled and he forcefully landed on the elf. In a gruesome display, pressure forced a rush of blood out of Taako. Kravitz didn’t have time to apologize, just wrapped the cloak tightly around Taako’s slight frame and gently rested his fingers on his neck.

 

In the past year, Kravitz had spent endless hours laying beside Taako and listening to his heartbeat. It was soothing and familiar and he prayed to his Queen that he would feel that same heartbeat in the elf’s throat today.

 

And he waited.

 

And he listened.

 

And there was no pulse.

 

And he screamed.

 

 

\---

 

 

Startled by a sound they had never heard before, Lup and Barry turned to investigate where they last saw they last saw Taako and Kravitz. They couldn’t afford a long glance while fighting defensively against Daphne, not wanting to trigger any dangerous impulses from the necromancer.

 

Lup stopped herself mid-spell when she saw her brother laying face down in the grass. Kravitz was kneeled over him and was in even worse condition than the last time she saw him. His forehead was tucked next to Taako’s and he was still screaming.

 

“Barry, kill her!” The emotion Lup heard in Kravitz’s scream told her that he was no longer trapped under Daphne’s spell. The reapers were waiting until Kravitz was free to strike her lethally and this was their moment.

 

Lup flew over to Taako’s listless form and wrenched Kravitz’s head up. “Krav, what happened to him?” His mouth snapped shut but his eyes were unfocused. “Kravitz! What the hell happened?”

 

He made no move to respond so Lup shoved him aside and examined Taako for herself. He was shallowly cut from wrist to shoulder and losing blood quickly. She ripped the cloak off him for a moment until she saw even more blood spurting from his back. Pressing the fabric back into Taako, she turned to Kravitz again.

 

He was whispering under his breath the same phrase over and over. "...killed him... I kil.. ...him." It was almost too quiet to make out.

 

Lup interrupted “You did this?” Her corporeal form blurred at the edges, seemingly about to burst into flames. Her fingertips were already alight and the rest of her was teetering dangerously close to the edge. “To my brother?”

 

The accusation seemed to snap Kravitz back into reality. He responded quickly and quietly. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. It wasn’t me.” He was now speaking through tears “Oh gods, Taako, I’m so sorry. I kille-” Kravitz choked on a sob and couldn’t finish his sentence.

 

“You killed my brother?” Lup was screaming at this point, hovering on the edge of destruction.

 

And, in the first lucky moment all day, Barry swooped over to them, having easily disabled the necromancer. He grabbed Lup’s hand and held it in his own. Just the physical sensation of her anchor was enough to simmer her down from the point of no return. Barry took in the situation quickly and used one hand to apply pressure to the open cuts on Taako’s arm.

 

“Lup, baby. He’s not dead.”

 

Both mourners snapped their head to Barry in shock. Not dead? Kravitz knew the feeling of Taako’s heartbeat better than anything. How could he be alive without a heart beat?

 

“He’s not dead, he still has a pulse. We need to compress the cuts on his arm, now!” Lup soundlessly handed her robe to Barry who wrapped it quickly and tightly around Taako. He looked so encumbered by fabric, appearing even frailer than normal.

 

“There was no pulse. I didn’t feel his pulse.” Kravitz muttered to himself, in disbelief that Taako could be alive. Gods, he was losing so much blood. Could a corpse even lose that much blood?

 

Of course, the blood! The blood was pulsing out of his wounds, that’s why Kravitz had tried to compress them himself. If his blood was pulsing than his heart must be pulsing too! But why hadn’t Kravitz felt a pulse?

 

All three reapers were kneeling over Taako at this point. Kravitz brought a hand down to his husband’s face and wiped some hair and spattered blood off his cheek. He tried to sweep a long piece of hair behind his long ear but it didn’t feel right. He saw his hand moving but he couldn’t feel Taako beneath it. He watched blood drip from his palm and remembered Taako’s final strike, right through his left hand.

 

He curled his fingers into a fist experimentally. His fingers seemed to be doing what he told them to so he gently brushed Taako’s cheek again. No sensation. He pressed his fingers to Taako’s pulse point and still felt nothing. Frantically, he reached for Taako with his other hand and finally, blessedly, found a pulse.

 

“Oh, thank god.” Kravitz practically collapsed over Taako’s body. He was so stupid, of course he would have nerve damage in his hand. He was too emotional, too unfocused. He should’ve been the one bandaging Taako’s wounds. He wasted precious time waiting for Lup and Barry to snap him out of it.

 

Kravitz allowed himself a moment to be consumed with guilt. Guilt that he allowed himself to be cursed by the necromancer. Guilt that he struck Taako. Guilt that he sat idly by while Taako bled out in the grass. He remembered the fight as a haze, vaguely aware that his husband was speaking but unable to act according to his own will. He cursed himself for letting this happen.

 

And when that moment was up, he steeled himself and spoke. “Barry, return to our Queen and let her know that the deed is done. Lup, please help me keep pressure on Taako’s wounds, we need to move him somewhere safe.” Kravitz gestured and re-materialized his scythe but it felt unfamiliar in his grasp. Was it because of the nerve damage? Or because it had just been nested deep in Taako’s back?

 

He sliced a portal into the air and tried to pick Taako up. His knee couldn’t support both of their weight and he wavered.

 

“Stop that, I’ll carry him.” Lup interrupted. “Help me keep him somewhat flat, I don’t want the cuts getting any worse.”

 

Together they stepped through the portal into Taako’s bedroom and deposited him on the unmade bed.

 

Lup had no healing magic but she knew the ins and outs of basic first aid. She started with Taako’s arms and prayed that when she removed her cloak, the bleeding wouldn’t worsen. She wasn’t that lucky.

 

Taako’s skin was split cleanly and bursting open. Muscles, tendons and even bones that never should’ve seen the light of day were shining and deep red. Lup couldn’t afford to hesitate and began to stitch her brother up.

 

Kravitz was standing awkwardly to her side. He wished he was the one in Taako’s position instead. He wished he had healing magic to ease his suffering. He wished he didn’t remember what it sounded like to open Taako’s flesh.

 

He suddenly became aware of his own pain. He was still bleeding from the chest, left hand, and ankle. He remember dislocating his knee and looked down to see a leg so mangled that it didn’t seem to belong to him. Normally, he would return to his Queen and have her mend his broken form but he absolutely could not leave Taako’s side.

 

Lup finished stitching up his arm and wrapped clean white bandages tightly around it. She paused momentarily, just taking in her brother. He was laying on his back, still tangled in Kravitz’s cloak, eyes closed but brow still furrowed. Even unconscious, she could tell that he was in pain.

 

“We have to flip him over. What should I be expecting?” Lup startled Kravitz out of silence.

 

“Scythe wound, deep.” He couldn’t get himself to use any more personal words. “At least one foot horizontally.” The cut on his arm was gruesome but shallow. The one on his back would take a different type of treatment.

 

Lup pretended like she wasn’t sitting next to the person who did this to her brother and slowly flipped the elf over.

 

Kravitz carefully peeled his own cloak off Taako’s back and tried not to feel nauseous when strings of clotted blood came with it. Lup grit her teeth and wiped the edges of the cut as best she could. When she could clearly see where the injury started and ended, she lit her fingers ablaze and slowly cauterized the wound.

 

Kravitz grit his teeth, glad that Taako was unconscious and facing away. The sweet scent of burnt flesh was overwhelming and Kravitz reached for Taako’s hand to anchor himself.

 

Lup gradually made her way across Taako’s back, moving from shoulder blade to shoulder blade and sealing the skin. The bleeding had finally stopped but the elf looked worse for wear. He was scabbed, bloody, and worringly pale. There was still tension in his face despite looking upsettingly limp otherwise.

 

Lup took a deep breath and stood up from where she had knelt by Taako’s bed. She met Kravitz’s eye and took another measured inhale.

 

“Don’t do that again.”

 

Kravitz expected her to yell at him, probably to never trust him again. But instead, he was faced with this calm, reasonable voice.

 

“Aren’t you mad at me?”

 

“You know why I can’t be. That wasn’t you, you couldn’t have prevented it. Taako took a risk but that decision was his to make;” She leaned in closer to his face and hissed a final warning, “but don’t do that again.”

 

Before Kravitz could respond, she turned on her heel, swiped a portal to the Astral Plane, and was gone.

 

Well, at least she trusted him alone with Taako. Even though he barely trusted himself.

 

 

\--

 

  


Taako’s unconscious body was still laying in the position Lup left him in. Kravitz had taken to pacing the length of his bedroom to keep from hyperfixating on the small flinches and microexpressions Taako made in his sleep.

 

Kravitz was torn. Would Taako want to wake up with him by his side? Or would he recoil in horror at the sight of the man who hurt him? Guilt pulsed through his body as a physical sensation. Kravitz didn’t deserve to stay here, he was careless and he was the one who hurt Taako.

 

But he didn’t want Taako to wake up alone. The indecision was debilitating. Kravitz couldn’t count how many times he had to instinct to march out of the room and hide in his Queen’s domain.

 

(Besides, he really had to get his body fixed...)

 

He decided he would stay. Just for long enough to ensure Taako’s physical safety. But he wouldn’t let himself be comforted by the elf. He didn’t deserve that.

 

While debating with himself, Kravitz didn’t notice Taako’s eyes slowly open. He didn’t know that Taako had watched him stride to the door, hand on the doorknob, then shake off the impulse to run and place himself back in the room. Taako silently watched his husband limp around the room, alternating between wringing his palms and shaking them.

 

When he couldn’t watch the reaper any longer, he tried to speak his name “Mmrgh.” Taako tried to clear his throat but only succeeded in coughing dried blood onto his lips. “Ugh.”

 

Kravitz practically flew to his bedside. He quickly grabbed the half empty glass of water that was omnipresent on Taako's bedside table and tried to bring it to his lips. The angle was no good, and he brought an arm behind Taako’s shoulder and supported him in order to find some verticality. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. Have some water, take it slow.” The words spilled out of him, far calmer than he expected

 

Taako gulped the water and cleared his throat again. His lips were still marked with coagulated blood but his lungs sounded much clearer. “Thanks, Krav.” He said with a small smile.

 

“Of course, dove. Can I lie you down again, please? I don’t want you to strain yourself.” Taako nodded and Kravitz gingerly placed his head back on his pillow. He pushed a stray piece of bangs behind his ear, stained red and greasy.

 

“Love, do you remember what happened?”

 

“Uhhh, I don’t think I was hit in the head, thug. ‘Course I do.”

 

Kravitz knew the face Taako made when he was holding something back. He saw the angle of his ears, the tension in his jaw, and he knew that Taako wasn’t being truly upfront with him. He was horrified with himself, scaring Taako so badly that he couldn’t be honest with his husband any longer. He set his face into a neutral expression and took a deep breath before he could respond.

 

“Of course. I simply didn’t want you to be disoriented. Lup treated your wounds to the best of her ability but you won’t want to aggravate them. Is there anything I can get for you?” Kravitz slowly stepped backwards towards the door frame while he spoke.

 

“Taako’s good, baby.”

 

“In that case, I’ll let you rest. I love you, dear.” Kravitz had already left the room before he finished speaking. He couldn’t stand the hurt on Taako’s face for another moment. Let alone hear what he had to say.

 

“Wait--” Taako trailed off, now speaking to a closed door in an empty room. “Don’t leave…” he mumbled with half effort.

 

 

\--

 

 

Taako was inconsolable for the next hour or so. He was furious with himself for driving Kravitz away, leaving him alone once again. At this point, truly, no one else would have him.

 

How could he be so reckless? Why hadn’t he thought of the position Kravitz was in? Of course the reaper would be angry with Taako for throwing himself into a losing battle. Of course he would be disappointed that he didn’t come up with a smarter plan. Of course…

 

A jolt of pain up his arm interrupt his downward spiral. Risking a glance, he saw blood seeping through the bandages. Taako didn’t have a weak stomach but anyone could agree these wounds were grisly.

 

And he practically forced Kravitz to give them to him. Gods, of course Kravitz would hate him! Why wouldn’t he be avoiding Taako when he practically held out his body and said, cut here!

 

He replayed the few things Kravitz said before leaving his side. A few basic health warnings, nothing a stranger wouldn’t have said. A few pet names said through gritted teeth. A force of habit, he assumed. And finally, a door slammed in his face.

 

This was it. This was the last person who could possibly leave him. The person he let in to his life despite his fear of being abandoned because he hoped he could be loved.

 

And wasn’t that the most painful part? Hope? At least if he had kept his walls down, he wouldn’t have been hurt. But to hope for something and have it taken away? That hurt more than a cut from a scythe.

 

Taako ignored the physical and emotional pain and swung his feet off the bed. His heart hammered, begging him to let his body rest.

 

But Taako didn’t need rest anymore. He was stone cold.

 

 

\--

 

 

Kravitz opened a portal to his home after hesitating at the bedroom door. He just needed to turn off his brain for awhile. He felt the warm embrace of the Raven Queen and let her heal him. He dismissed his corporeal form and all he had left was his essence for now.

 

Unfortunately, without the distraction of physical sensation, Kravitz began to spiral again.

 

Of course Taako hated him. He promised the elf he would take care of him, always. He asked for Taako’s trust, something reluctantly given, and he wasted it. Kravitz deserved to be hated and he wouldn’t force himself into Taako’s life any longer. Maybe a clean break could be easier. Taako could find someone else to love and let Kravitz fade into forgotten memories.

 

Anytime he tried to shake a thought from his mind, the space was filled with the sound of metal cutting through Taako’s small frame. The sound of skin splitting repeated over and over again until it was explosive and unstoppable. Kravitz prayed for relief and felt the Raven Queen shush his mind and quickly, gratefully, fell into a healing sleep.

 

 

\--

 

 

“No, I don’t want to see him!” Taako was aware that he was shrieking like a child but something about being around Lup made him feel like one again. “I don’t! And he sure as hell doesn’t want to see me!”

 

Lup rolled her eyes and caught his wrist. “Don’t be ridiculous, bro. Of course he would want to see you. He’s your husband and you’re hurt. Taking care of you is kind of his job!”

 

“No, gods no! He hates me. I did something stupid and it was the last straw, I just know it. What if Barry had done that to you? Handed you a weapon and told you to take a killing blow with it? You’d tell him he was an idiot and careless and stupid and… and...” Taako’s rant devolved into tears. He stopped resisting and let his sister hold him.

 

“Taako, you’re my brother and I love you. But you are being stupid. You need to talk to Kravitz and figure this shit out together. You can’t keep ignoring him!” Taako scoffed and melted further into Lup.

 

“He hates me,” he mumbled into her shirt. “I just know it.”

 

“He doesn’t hate you, baby. Nothing you could do could make him hate you.”

 

Taako was silent for a minute. Lup felt his muscles relax, ever so slightly and sighed in relief.

 

“If I let myself hope, I’ll just get hurt again.”

 

“No, baby, no. I won’t let you. I will personally kick Krav’s ass and then tattle on him to our mom and get him in trouble for fucking with an emissary of Istus. Okay?”

 

Taako laughed a little and Lup let herself smile. She wiped his tears and kissed his forehead.

 

“Okay.”

 

 

\--

 

 

“I don’t intend on seeing him.” Kravitz and Barry were sitting in the Raven Queen’s domain over an untouched board of chess.

 

“He needs you, Kravitz. You made your vows and this is his sickness. You can’t just leave him.” Barry had a special ability to hold direct eye contact through a difficult conversation and this was no exception. Kravitz flicked his eyes to the board, the bookshelves, anywhere he could pretend he wasn’t a part of this conversation.

 

“I would complicate things. He deserves time to heal on his own.” His voice was measured and slow. Kravitz did not intend on sharing too much.

 

“Look, I respect that you’re trying to help him. But we both know Taako and the worst thing you can do is make him think he’s being abandoned. Like I said, he needs you right now.”

 

“He needs a better version of me. Not the monster who almost killed him.” Kravitz voice caught and betrayed the emotions bubbling up. “Barry, I thought I killed him.”

 

“But you didn’t. He’s alive and hurting and you need to talk to him. And I think you know that.” Barry finally dropped his glance and moved a single pawn.

 

“I can’t let it happen again.” Kravitz’s voice was low and raw. He tensely moved a pawn of his own.

 

“We won’t let it.” Barry spoke casually and smiled encouragingly at his brother-in-law. “Okay?”

 

“Okay.”

 

They were silent for a long time.

 

“Thank you, Barry. And checkmate.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for the comments on part one! i know this was just more angst but chapter 3 will finally be the hurt/comfort i promised. let me know what you think!
> 
> this was beta'd by TaraHarkon here on ao3! and thank you to taz writers discord for the encouragement as well.


	3. Chapter 3

Taako rolled his Stone of Farspeech around in his fingers. He dialed a few numbers, paused, then shook the Stone to erase them and returned to fidgeting. He slipped the cord it hung on back under his shirt and looked around the room. It had been a week since the incident. A week since he spoke to Kravitz. A week since he even saw his husband.

 

And Taako was worse for wear.

 

He tried to rehearse what he wanted to say to Kravitz but each time, it came out different. He would fixate on one point and escalate until he was too emotional to say anything else so he gave up on rehearsing. His instincts had always been on his side in the past so he decided he would lean on them now.

 

Even after deciding on a improvisational approach, the issue became how he could casually run into Kravitz when he was still bedridden. Lup told him that she would personally kill him if he split any of her stitches again because “those took forever, jackass! You know I hate sewing!”

 

And it’s not like Taako could just call Kravitz. Each day he delayed made it harder and harder to take the first step. At first, it was “why did you storm out earlier today?” but now it would be “why haven’t either of us reached out in a week?” And Taako wasn’t sure if he wanted the answer to that question.

 

So, he decided, today was another day of inaction. Another day of spinning his Stone and hoping it would light up. Another day of wishing he could turn back time.

 

 

-

 

 

Three quick raps at the door woke Taako up. It probably wasn’t a socially acceptable time to be asleep so he rubbed his eyes, cleared his throat and spoke up.

 

“I’m awake, sis!”

 

The door gently opened. “I’m sorry, it’s not your sister. Would you like me to get her?” Kravitz stood firmly beyond the door frame, unwilling to commit to an entrance into Taako’s space.

 

“Oh, shit, no. I mean, it’s fi- you’re fine. What’s up?”

 

“I was wondering if we could talk.” Kravitz took Taako’s slight shrug as invitation to step inside and shut the door behind him.

 

Kravitz gingerly sat on the bed while Taako propped himself with a few pillows. His hand reached for the elf’s and he had never been more grateful to have his sense of touch back.

 

“I want to start by saying how sorry I am.” Kravitz couldn’t look Taako in the eye and distractedly drew circle with his thumb on Taako’s palm. “I don’t think I can apologize enough to make it up to you but I am truly sorry, my dear.”

 

“Krav, don’t-”

 

“No, please. I’d like to have you listen to what I have to say. I promise I’ll do the same to you once I finish.” Kravitz took a deep breath in and ignored his body’s craving to be closer to Taako. Kravitz watched Taako reach for him and then jerk back. Taako watched Kravitz start to shift closer and then pull himself away. They kept an artificial wall of tension up between them, both unwilling to be the first to break it.

 

“I wish Lup and Barry had never come to you that day; however, I can’t blame them for doing what they thought was right. I suppose I blame myself for leaving them at a tactical disadvantage. And, although you know that I’ve never wanted you involved in my bounties, I can’t blame you either for wanting to help your sister.

 

“I wish I could blame Daphne too but she wasn’t even the strongest adversary I’ve sparred with this month. Perhaps Fate is to blame for so much going wrong.” Kravitz said the last sentence with a small smirk, teasing Taako for his emissary status under Istus the same way Taako teased him for service under the Raven Queen. He looked into Taako’s eyes for the first time since he entered the room and saw a small sad smile upon his face as well.

 

“But that would be unfair of me. After much thought, I know that the only person I can blame is myself. For telling you that you can trust me. For letting my guard down in battle. And, of course, for not staying by your side afterwards.” Kravitz turned to face Taako completely, situating himself more permanently on the bed. “I never should have left you, my dove. You didn’t deserve that. I felt… I’m sorry, I feel absolutely ridden with guilt. I made the decision that you shouldn’t have to see me but now, I realize, that should’ve been your decision to make. I never meant to take ownership over your agency and I apologize for that as well.

 

“Taako, dove, I hope you can come to forgive me but I want you to know that I’m prepared if you can’t. If you tell me that you never want to see me again, I’ll walk out of your life without another word. If you tell me that you don’t know if you can trust me again, I’ll respect that, I swear it. The decision is all yours.”

 

Kravitz hesitated. He felt as if he hadn’t said all there was to say. But he had spoken himself into a corner and braced himself for Taako’s response.

 

He waited.

 

And waited.

 

“Kravitz…” It was rare for Taako to use his full name. “Hey, Kravitz?”

 

“Yes, Taako.” Kravitz tried to match his tone in response, looking up earnestly.

 

“...are you out of your _fucking_ _mind_?!”

 

The silence shattered and Kravitz physically flinched. Sure, he’d seen Taako angry before but never had it been directed towards him.

 

“You must be under some kind of spell or something. Or maybe you were the one who got hit in the head that day! Because you’re sure as hell not makin' any sense right now!” Taako sprung to his feet and the octave of his voice raised. He was getting frantic, angry at himself for scaring Kravitz but nowhere near in control enough to settle the situation. He paced the bedroom in large quick steps.

 

“What makes you think…. what _possessed_ you to think that I didn’t wanna see you? Um, hello, bonehead? I’ve been in bed! For a week! Alone! And worried that I finally scared you away!” His voice raised even higher and his hand gestures grew more frenzied as well.

 

“Taako, I-”

 

“ _Nope_ , no sir. ’S my turn to talk.”

 

Taako turned on his heel and faced his husband.

 

“You know your boy doesn’t talk about his emotions. But let’s say, hypothetically, I was sittin' in bed for seven long days, worryin' that you blamed me. Worryin' that I made a stupid move and it was your last straw. And, hypothetically, let’s say that you fuckin' _disappearing_ on me only proved me right!” Taako’s voice reached its highest possible pitch so he took a deep breath and continued a little quieter, a little calmer.

 

“And, let’s just say, for instance, that I’m sorry. And... and that I only did what I did because I care about you and wasn’t smart enough to think of anything safer? Hypothetically speakin', obviously, could you…” Taako wiped an unwanted tear from his cheek. “Could you forgive me for that?”

 

Kravitz stood slowly and reached for both of Taako’s hands. Once he held them lightly in his own, Kravitz looked into Taako’s eyes.

 

The moment was quiet.

 

“Taako, darling, I truly don’t think there’s anything to forgive.But if you need to hear me say it, of course I forgive you.” He clutched Taako’s hands in his own and tested the waters. “Which begets the question: are you able to forgive me?”

 

Taako looked at his toes and Kravitz saw just a hint of a smirk on his face. “Babe, there’s nothin' to forgive.” Kravitz offered a reluctant smile and Taako met it with his own.

 

A palpable sense of relief washed over the room and Taako threw his arms around Kravitz’s neck. He buried his face into the crook of his husband’s shoulder and melted into the feeling of Kravitz’s strong hands around his waist.

 

“I’m sorry for running away.” Kravitz mumbled into Taako’s hair.

 

“I’m sorry for bein' stupid.” Taako whispered into Kravitz’s skin.

 

Both men wanted to say that they were sorry for blaming themselves but the anxiety of speaking vulnerable words kept them both silent. So they held each other tightly, clinging to the long missed sensation of safety, and they both promised themselves that next time, they’d speak up.

 

Taako, from the safety of Kraitz’s embrace, wagered a risky request. “Krav, I wanna know about your bounties. Not just where you’re goin' and for how long but what sort of danger you’re puttin' yourself in. I wanna be prepared for the worse.And I wanna know what you’d want me to do if something... like this happens again.”

 

“Darling, you know I ca-”

 

“I know, I know, the Raven Queen confidentiality agreement and all that but the Raven Queen trusts Istus and Istus trusts me! Doesn’t that count for something? And we’re married! Don’t I have any interplanar rights?” Taako spoke quickly, almost regretting bringing up his insecurity in the first place.

 

Luckily, Kravitz cut him off with a light kiss on the temple. “Let’s talk to her. If that’s what you need to feel safe, I will seek to have my Queen understand. And in exchange, may I ask a favor of you?”

 

Taako nodded silently. He felt so comforted that Kravitz was making an effort to accomodate his difficult emotions and was ready to say yes to anything his husband could ask.

 

“I don’t want to see you risking your wellbeing anymore. I know you don’t like to admit it but I’ve seen you act carelessly when the people you love are in danger. You can lean on your friends and family. And in most cases, I know with a little time that you’d be able to come up with a plan that saves everyone. So,” Kravitz cleared his throat. “Can you promise me that you won’t be so quick to throw yourself under the knife?

 

“...that’s a _lot_ to ask, homie.” Kravitz saw tension move into Taako’s brow and stroke his thumb from his forehead to his temple in an attempt to relax him. “I don’t think I can promise that,” Kravitz’s face fell so Taako quickly continued “but I’ll try my best. Is that okay?”

 

He earned himself a wide grin from the reaper. “That’s perfectly fine.”

 

Kravitz’s wide smile dropped suddenly. “Oh, how are you feeling? Should you be standing yet?” The sudden realization of the state Taako was in caused Kravitz to fawn over the elf, checking bandages and scanning for anything amiss. He spoke rapidly, as if to make up for lost time. “I hope you had a cleric take a look at you. The cuts didn’t get infected, did they? Lup tried her best to close things up but fire magic is not, how should I say, precise? Are you still in any pain? Can I check your stitches?”

 

“Slow down, bonehead. Lup took good care of me. I’ll just have some gnarly new scars to show for it.” He laughed and offered his arm to Kravitz.

 

Kravitz began to unravel the bandages slowly. With no more fresh blood, the cut looked far less deadly than it did last he saw. But still, the sight of thick black thread holding his husband’s skin together was worrying.

 

Kravitz was still concerned. He ran his fingers gently down Taako’s arm. “I’m sorry, that should’ve been my job.”

 

“Well, first of all, spendin' time with me ain’t a job, so get that straight.” Taako teased Kravitz but there was a hint of apprehension in his eyes and in that moment. He had seen that look in his eyes before, on their first date. _I’m worried no one else will have me._ Kravitz swore to himself he would never make Taako feel that way again.

 

“And second of all, I guess you’ll just have to make up for lost time,” Taako added with an overdramatic wink.

 

Kravitz trailed his fingers up Taako’s shoulder and gently lifted the elf’s chin so their eyes could meet.

 

“My dear, I intend to.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's finished! this is the chapter i'm least proud of but i think that's just because i have more fun writing angst than resolving it.
> 
> congrats to me for finishing my first fic! lemme know what y'all think.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Down for the Count](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13877115) by [ohjustdisarmalready](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohjustdisarmalready/pseuds/ohjustdisarmalready)




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